Erica's Pensieve

The minor towers next to the citizen.

I’m in class right now (cogs14), really bored and not learning much at all, so I’ve decided to post in my blog! It’s been a long time since I posted and so many things have happened.

Braces are going well, and I’m getting them off next month I think! =) Which is much earlier than I previously thought but I’m not as excited as I thought I’d be.. maybe I’ll be excited on that day. Something I’m not too excited about is pain in one of my lower teeth that I’m getting checked out on Thursday. I’m hoping it’s not too serious, cuz I don’t want a root canal!! I guess getting straight teeth is painful in many ways.

I can’t believe it’s already February.. it feels like it was just new years last week O_o; time flies by when your memory sucks. My memory has a lot of gaps in it lately.. I really don’t know why. Some days I cannot remember what I did the day before even if it was a midterm or something. I really hope my brain isn’t labeling them as “traumatizing” events and making itself forget them on purpose. Or maybe it’s lack of exercise cuz I really need to start exercising again. (o^_^o) I don’t want to become a fatty like hammie. Hammie stopped exercising.. his favorite hobby now is curling up inside that little ball of his. I must be a bad influence.

Oh I’m actually learning something I need to know. BRB.

Okay back. Wow that was boring. The worst thing is, the professor knows it’s boring (he admitted) and drones on and on almost as if too exemplify the fact that it’s boring. (._.);; I can’t wait to go home and clean the house! (o^_^o) I’m a weirdo. But cleaning makes me happy sometimes.

Another update: I have started playing FarmVille, Cafe World, PetVille, and FishVille. I cannot believe myself! But it’s so fun (^_^) I’m all for fun things that pass time.

I’ve also become addicted to baking bread lately – bread phase? I’m just fascinated by the idea that I can create something crunchy and delicious with just some white powder and a hot oven. It’s one thing to buy loaves from the supermarket and a whole other thing to create your own loaf, fresh and hot from the oven.. mm crunchy goodness. I haven’t been able to make anything else but sandwich bread, unfortunately, but hoping to make some french bread or sourdough bread next week ^_^

How can I be so sad and happy at the same time? Part of me is still living in the past and wondering how things might have gone differently. It’s so hard to move forward when your memories pull you back.

I really really hate OCD. Sometimes I feel trapped and I have to complete something before letting something else happen afterwards and people tend to misunderstand because they have no clue what’s going on.

I didn’t think I could feel this deep aching pain again.

Why do guys have to be so insensitive sometimes? My mind is not so hard to understand.

Haven’t posted in a while! Here are a few updates~

I got braces and they hurt. Cheeks are all cut up and my teeth feel all claustrophobic and stuff. The biggest problem is food getting stuck and flossing. Not sure where to put my elastics, hopefully they’re in the right place.. oh dear. I hope these are worth it.. I will kind of miss my fangs though. My dad said he’ll miss them too and that I looked like a cute vampire. hah. hah.

The thing I was worrying about is gone now. *relief* I can just focus on what I need to get done now that that’s out of the way!

Just relaxing and enjoying the last few days of summer break. I am kind of excited for school (wha?!) but I know I’ll be stressing in about 3 weeks with midterms eew.

Someone pretends to be happy. Maybe not quite happy, but wearing the appearance of a normal person living a normal life, to others around them, while inside they are being crushed. It comes to them at night, or on silent hours, when there is nothing to distract the thoughts and whispers that discourage them. A few tears leak out each day, because they want to just let it all go. An easier route would be suicide. Yes, wouldn’t that be a quick and simple solution to all the pressures and troubles of life? To them, death is eternal silence, to not know or remember anything – having no past, present, or future. Then a thought crosses their mind. What is life then? A spark that came from no where. A chance, or one time opportunity. If everything eventually dies in the end, why does it matter – not only why does it matter to try, but why do the pressure and stresses matter? Why does it matter if someone fails in life, or loses everything. Everything is lost in the end anyway. So why not just play this game for the time being, just because one can.